The story of the Sunday NFL Countdown shoot in 3 acts.

 

Act 1: INTO THE WYLDE

Open on Alison Hill, Alan Buchanan and Nick Sonderup at a party at the Sunset Marquis Hotel in West Hollywood.

The party is thrown by Gibson Guitars, open only to guests of the hotel and 400 invitees. The crowd is a mix of the “I’m not famous, but I live in LA so I look I might be famous” and the “I am famous, at least I was, but you can’t think of my name.” Kind of like any guy in Def Leopard who wasn’t the signer or the one-armed drummer. And Jeff Beck.

 

Enter Zakk Wylde. 

 

 

 

Nick finds himself bellied up next to Zakk at the bar.

Bartender:       What can I get you?

Zakk:               Yea, give me some (edited for a PG audience) discharge. Oh, and just (ditto) in my glass.

(beat)

Zakk nudges Nick They both laugh. Zakk, at himself; Nick at the situation.

Nick:                 That’s not too much to ask.

Zakk:                I’m not that demanding, am I?

Nick:                Of course not, perfectly normal request.

Zakk makes another weak attempt at humor and laughs at himself (again), slapping Nick on the shoulder like they’re old pals. Nick laughs, grabs his drink and walks away. Stunned.

 

Fade out

 

ACT 2: I WONDER WHAT STEVIE WAS THINKING

Later that night…

Open on Alison and Nick standing near a stage around the swimming pool at the Sunset Marquis. Various unknown/unimportant musicians appear on stage, and then…

Alison:             Holy shit, is that Stevie Wonder?!

 

 

It was. And he’s going to play, so Nick and Alison bolt up to Alison’s room above the stage. Stevie starts playing. Alan arrives. He still has food poisoning.

Stevie plays two songs. Then, starts the opening lyric and chords to “Superstition.”

Stevie:              Very superstitious, writings on the wall.

The crowd goes wild. Stevie doesn’t care. He stops. Stands up, and walks off stage.

Crowd:             What the…!?

Fade out

 

 

ACT 3: THERE’S NO DANCING IN FOOTBALL

Open on Stage 28 at Universal Studios back lot. 6:30 am. Day of the shoot. Cameras roll on the first spot. The Countdown team is in place. Mort shows up, but his spot isn’t for hours, so he just hangs out. Steve Young shoots his part, and calls it a day. Ditka shoots his part and takes a nap. Cameras move to set up second spot. Get a few shots in.

First AD: That’s 30 for lunch.

Shannon Elizabeth arrives. The Countdown team perks up. Alan still has food poisoning. Turns out it’s a virus no one can pronounce, acquired from eating a bad oyster. Move the cameras for the final spot. Keyshawn hangs out and chats off camera.

Keyshawn:       What’s that hotel in New York by Pastis?

Nick:               Gansevoort?

Keyshawn:      No, the other one.

Nick:              Maritime?

Keyshawn:     No, the other one.

Nick:              Ummm…

Enter Cris Carter

Nick:              How would you feel if Favre played for the Vikings?

Cris:               It would probably be a good thing.

Nick:              But don’t you think the people of Minnesota and Wisconsin would go to war?

Cris:               Yea, it would probably end that way.

Enter Keyshawn. And Mort. And Berman.

Keyshawn:     I’m bored.

Mort:             Favre called me, so I sent him a text. 

Berman:        Fumble! 

And so on.

 

We wrap. Have a pizza party. And take the red eye back the next day.

 

Fade out.